You Have Got The Wrong Person

I’ve written before about some of the random emails I get from time to time that were supposed to go to a different Matt (we really need a word to describe this phenomenon; “spam” just doesn’t quite cut it), but I was reminded recently that I never actually posted my all time favourite. This one was apparently successfully sent to its original recipient, who then tried to forward it on to someone she knew called…

Continue reading

Dear Matt Armstrongs Of The World

I know I got there first with the best Gmail address for our name, but just because you’re jealous it doesn’t mean you have to give out my email address to people and pretend it’s yours… So no, “The Cast of Disneyland Paris”, I don’t think I can give you feedback on my recent visit there, given that I haven’t left Australia for over a year. I also won’t be reviewing my recent stay at…

Continue reading

Insulted by Spam

So I just received the following message from teh interwebs: From: Jennifer Holmstrum To: Matt Subject: I am worried about you Matt Hi Matt, Please listen to me on this. You can either continue on the path that you are on right now? Or you can make a positive change that will reward you for years to come. Matt, I am talking about your career. Go here right now and see how easy it is…

Continue reading

We hope we have not affected any essential plans you have made.

So I thought I’d give supermarket home delivery a go for the first time here in Oz. Generally a seamless experience, and pretty similar to the service back in the UK, but with the additional step that they send you an email when they pack the order to tell you if everything was available: From: Coles Customer Care To: Matt Subject: Out of Stock Email Dear Matthew Armstrong, We’re emailing to apologise that some of…

Continue reading

Lost Email

One of the downsides to having got in on Gmail early enough to get my real name as my username is that as time goes by I seem to be collecting more and more messages intended for other Matt Armstrongs who weren’t so lucky. It’s not spam, as such, but real messages from real people that have just wound up in the wrong inbox by mistake. One of my old work colleagues used to have…

Continue reading

Spam

So I’m guessing that at some point in the past I must have become rather annoyed with receiving incessant spam emails from the UK’s least favourite grocer. And I must have decided to vent my frustration in a typically childishly pathetic way that no one but me would ever know about. Well, that’s the only explanation I can think of for why, long after I stopped receiving their spam, and long after I forgot all…

Continue reading

We are committed to protecting your privacy

So I occasionally get these marketing emails from Tesco. I’m sure I’ve tried to unsubscribe before, but they just keep coming. The “unsubscribe” link takes you to this page. I can’t help thinking that there might be a teeny flaw in their system there. Can you tell what it is? [Clue: In case you haven’t got it yet, why not try typing (say) “terry.leahy@tesco.com” into the box that says “Existing Customers Sign In Here”. He…

Continue reading