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Uncategorized

Genius Product Ideas #247

This genius business idea is free to anyone who wants it: someone really needs to make a little tool for cleaning out the headphone socket on the iPhone.

As I carry mine around in my pocket typically without the headphones plugged in, I find I’m constantly having to use the end of a paperclip to remove all the fluff and lint and crap that somehow finds its way into the headphone jack.

Given that Apple already provide a custom tool for opening the SIM compartment, I can’t believe they didn’t think of this one too.

It can’t be just me, can it?

File this one under #firstworldproblems…

Categories
Australia

Aussiefication

So last night we headed for the Sun Theatre in Yarraville to see Mark Watson reading some passages from his new book, parts of which happen to be set in Melbourne. One of the many things he spoke about was his affection for this city and his plans one day to move over here. In answer to some further probing on the specifics of his migration plans during the audience Q&A (I think he was expecting questions about his book, but he seemed happy to answer it anyway…) he revealed that apparently there is a branch of the highly skilled migrant visa program through which comedians can get in to the country (and also that he knows all the words to Waltzing Matilda and has already picked an AFL team, which will probably do). I wonder if he’ll ever make it here permanently and whether it will live up to his high expectations when he does.

I took another big step in my own conversion this morning when I went to my appointment at VicRoads to swap that funny pink UK driving licence I have for the Aussie equivalent. The slightly inconsistent rules here state that you can drive for as long as you like on your overseas licence if you’re a temporary resident, but as soon as you become a permanent resident you have six months to swap your licence for the local equivalent. With that deadline about to expire at the end of this month it was time to take the plunge.

Luckily the UK sits on a short list of countries exempt from licence tests so the swap was nothing more than a bit of paperwork and identity verification. It took me long enough to pass my test in the UK in the first place, I couldn’t even begin to imagine the horror of having to do it all again (especially after two years of living here driving around in an automatic / forgetting how to drive a proper car / picking up all sorts of bad habits…)

Perhaps the only negative part of the whole process would be the fact that there is now a photo of me somewhere in the VicRoads computer system, which I have not yet seen but I will be carrying around with me for the next ten years. I don’t even want to think about how old I will be when this licence expires, so let’s hope it’s a good ‘un.

Still, add that to permanent residency and cross it off the list. Next stop citizenship. 2012.

Categories
Blogging

Oh Yeah, Comment Spam. I Forgot All About That…

One of the downsides to kicking off the blog again has been the return of the dreaded comment spam. Before I moved the blog over here, I was using my own custom blog system, which meant I could implement a very simple little trick to stop comment spam. Not quite a CAPTCHA in the true sense of the word, but good enough for my little insignificant blog: I simply added a field asking people to type in my name before submitting the comment. Easy for humans to do; unlikely that anybody would ever bother updating a comment spam bot to parse the question and respond accordingly.

But when I moved the blog over I opted for the easy solution of just installing WordPress, and while that meant that setup and configuration were the proverbial breeze, unfortunately “security through obscurity” no longer applies round these parts. Anything that I choose to implement here is also available to millions of other WordPress users around the world, and so it is very much worth the time of any comment spam bot author to workaround whatever anti-spam techniques I might be using.

Up until a couple of weeks ago I hadn’t seen a single piece of comment spam for about 4 years, but now there’s a steady trickle of them pouring onto the blog and into my inbox (far outweighing the number of genuine comments–perhaps that’s the universe’s way of letting me know that I’m just pissing into the wind once again).

Interestingly, things seem to have moved on in the world of comment spam over the last couple of years–when I last dealt with the problem the comments were usually gibberish and stuffed with links, whereas now they masquerade as apparently genuine comments, and it’s only when you read them closely that you notice the faltering English and lack of relevance to the article they’ve been posted on. I guess they’re designed to trick a busy moderator on a high traffic site who isn’t paying close attention.

That said, if I was writing a comment spam bot that posted the comment:

I also think the same as the commenter above.

They I’d maybe add some logic to check it wasn’t the first comment on that post, as that was a bit of a giveaway on that one.

Some of them are almost worth keeping for the comedy value of the dubious English (and the compliments–but a compliment by spam bot is no better than a machine on a train platform playing that recording that apologises for the delay to your service, is it…):

Thank you for give very good knowledges. Your web is very goodI am impressed by the information that you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject. Bookmarked this page, will come back for more. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched everywhere and just couldn’t find. What a perfect site. Like this website your website is one of my new favs.I like this info shown and it has given me some sort of desire to have success for some reason, so thank you

Nice to know that my web is very good. I wove it myself, don’t you know. And yes, thanks. I do understand the subject of this blog–me–pretty well. Glad to know that I ROCK too. Do come back for more Mr Comment Spam Bot, and good luck with that desire to have success. I’m still working on that myself.

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Uncategorized

46 People Like This…

I’m all for social network integration and everything, but I can’t help thinking that there might be some occasions when that Facebook “like” button isn’t actually an appropriate thing to have on a news story:

Really, NME?

46 people “like” the fact that a former member of ELO was killed in a freak road accident? That’s just great.

In other news, 295 people just love the fact that Charles Haddon jumped to his death at a music festival in Belgium.

Nice.

Categories
Australia UK

Neither Here Nor There…

I was struck by a wave of nostalgia the other day, when my mid-afternoon-lull/boredom-alleviation strategy at work saw me tuning my iPhone to BBC 6 music, only to find Damon Albarn mid-way through a performance of his The Good, The Bad, And The Queen “concept album about modern life in London”, recorded at The Roundhouse in Camden in 2006.

Ah. 2006. When I used to live just down the road. Suddenly I wasn’t sitting at my desk on a dreary winter afternoon in rainy Melbourne wrestling with a cross-browser CSS issue, I was walking along the canal with Sal to Camden on a sunny summer day. Perhaps we were off for a pint of Fruli in the beer garden at the Edinboro Castle. Who Knows.

Of course I inevitably have a rose-tinted view of our past life–it’s easy to forget the freezing winter mornings and those commutes spent wedged into someone’s smelly armpits on a packed tube train that has just decided to hang around in a tunnel for a bit for no apparent reason–but regardless I miss the people and the places that we left behind.

Unbelievably it’s almost two years since we arrived in Australia (and now well over two years since we gave up our Marylebone flat and packed our London lives into 26 shipping boxes and a couple of rucksacks), and I began wondering how Australia has changed me (apart from the extra grey hairs, but I’m pretty sure they’d have sprouted regardless).

Clearly I’m still clinging to my old life in many ways–Private Eye turns up every two weeks to keep me informed about whatever hilarious japes those Coalition boys have been getting up to, and that VPN connection I signed up for gives me access to a certain online telly streaming service–but recently I’ve found that when I need a news fix I instinctively reach for www.theage.com.au before news.bbc.co.uk.

On the other hand, even after two years of living in this sports-mad, aussie rules obsessed city I’d still rather lose sleep to watch another depressing late night Everton result play out than sit through a whole AFL game. (And I won’t be losing sleep when the current season of that particular sport is over in a couple of weeks time, if only because it means that everyone will stop talking about it…)

Then again, with limited opportunities to expose myself to new British music, my Recently Added playlist is local bands all the way (a couple of notable exceptions aside).

So I find myself somewhat conflicted–no longer the person I was when we lived in London, but not quite a proper Australian yet. Still, there’s two years to go before I get to apply for this, so there’s plenty of time for that to change, whether I like it or not.