Day: July 20, 2005

Still no real developments regarding our imminent eviction. I’ve written some letters, but no one seems to want to talk to me about it.

I’ve been perusing the interwebs looking for information, but the best I’ve come up with are the various details out there on the agency I’ve been dealing with (and through whom our landlady purchased the property), The Spencer Michael Consultancy. For example, see here, here, and here).

Do you think it’s a bad thing if the top Google results for your company name are from Watchdog and the Advertising Standards Authority?

Perhaps that is why the company appears to have changed its name to “Property Investor Courses Ltd“. Or maybe that’s just a coincidence.

Oh look–they have some glowing case studies on their website about all the people who’ve made millions out of following their courses. This, for example, is one I selected entirely at random.

—– Original Message —–
From: *.**********@jamjobs.co.uk
Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 3:08 PM
Subject: Technical Author * 4………… South Cumbria………

Hi,

I currently have available vacancies for 4 Technical Authors to join a leading international organisation. These are permanent roles based in South Cumbria

A leading international organisation are looking for 4 Technical Authors to review and evaluate existing Nuclear systems related procedures.

The successful candidates will have Authoring experience, ideally in the nuclear industry. Any engineering experience including control and instrumentation would be of benefit.

—snip—

“Nuclear systems related procedures“? “South Cumbria”? Surely that can mean only one thing.

Hmm. Perhaps not…

I went down the road for a haircut at lunchtime. As I was sitting in the chair in the middle of my cut an extremely stressed grey-haired woman in, I guess, her 50s, popped her head round the door and asked the bloke sitting nearest to it if she could borrow his phone.

“Could you call that number?” she asked, in an awfully posh voice, pointing to something written in her address book. “I’ve left my phone and my glasses at home and I can’t possibly read it. I’m parked just over there and I imagine I shall have to pay the most horrendous fine.”

The poor gentleman awaiting his haircut obligingly produced his mobile phone and passed it to her after dialing the number. Alas, the person we all later worked out to be her son that she was trying to contact (who appeared to work in the office building across the street) failed to answer his phone or his office direct line.

“Oh you daft boy!” she exclaimed angrily. “I don’t understand it. Why does everybody have to be so modern?”

I never did work out exactly what she meant by this, or exactly what her errant son had done to annoy her (although she did offer a tantalising clue by announcing to the rest of the equally bemused barbershop customers that she would “leave and not give them to him”, something that would, apparently, “show him”), but I just thought this was a wonderful line, and worth sharing.

When I left the barber some 15 minutes later she was still sitting waiting for him in her Smart car parked up in the street outside.