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Hypothetical Situation (We are not at home to Mr Cockup)

Suppose you made a huge mess of the ticket selling arrangements for a major hypothetical music festival, and subsequently discovered that your woefully inadequate hypothetical ticketing system had issued hundreds (or thousands?) of duplicate ticket orders to unsuspecting ticket buyers. Suppose you then discovered that despite the entirely fictional event having officially “sold out”, you were left with a huge number of cancelled (and therefore unsold) duplicates.

Would you:

(a) publicly announce that there were still tickets available for the event, causing an unholy scramble for tickets, and overloading your system. Again.

(b) quietly sell off the remaining tickets on your website without really telling anyone?

Entirely unrelated links

Official line: There will be no further issue of tickets. Duplicate orders have been cancelled and returned to the system and have all now been sold. Any further returned tickets and duplicate orders will be absorbed by outstanding needs.

Unofficial official line: http://www.seetickets.com/glastonbury2004/

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Man has affair with woman

I don’t want to dwell on this non-news story, but I happened to click on the link to this story entirely because of the headline: Loos: ‘Becks Made Me Feel A Million Dollars’. For a split second I really wanted this to be an article about some literal money-stroking fetish, so I was very disappointed to discover that she was just trotting out a trite cliche. The revelation in the story also isn’t going to have me rushing to Sky One to watch the interview tonight. Apparently he made her (metaphorically) feel a million dollars by feeding her “strawberries for breakfast”. Wow: fruit! If that isn’t the lifestyle of a multi-millionaire playboy, I don’t know what is.

“He brought in some fruit and started feeding me strawberries,” she said in the exclusive interview.

So shouldn’t the headline really be Loos: ‘Becks Made Me Feel £1.59 ($2)’?