Hypothetical Situation (We are not at home to Mr Cockup)

Suppose you made a huge mess of the ticket selling arrangements for a major hypothetical music festival, and subsequently discovered that your woefully inadequate hypothetical ticketing system had issued hundreds (or thousands?) of duplicate ticket orders to unsuspecting ticket buyers. Suppose you then discovered that despite the entirely fictional event having officially “sold out”, you were left with a huge number of cancelled (and therefore unsold) duplicates. Would you: (a) publicly announce that there were…

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Man has affair with woman

I don’t want to dwell on this non-news story, but I happened to click on the link to this story entirely because of the headline: Loos: ‘Becks Made Me Feel A Million Dollars’. For a split second I really wanted this to be an article about some literal money-stroking fetish, so I was very disappointed to discover that she was just trotting out a trite cliche. The revelation in the story also isn’t going to…

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